WHY Conversations: The Empty Nest Edition
The 411: What you are about to read is a fictional account of a conversation on what many call the EmptyNest. This could easily be an actual conversation as this post is inspired by a real-life conversation. Since I was writing from the balcony of a cabin in the mountains of western North Carolina, I pictured this WHY Conversation happening in just such a place. I chose a retreat setting as those are some of my favorite events. I hope you enjoy as you listen in.
Confronting the EmptyNest
“Hey, Kevin, do you have a few minutes? I’d like to chat about some of the things you said during the morning session.”“Of course, BJ, what’s on your mind?”“That whole bit about reconnecting with my passions and charting a new path for this next season of my life. Instead of thinking of this as the finish line, imagine the possibilities if we viewed it as the starting line for our next race. All of that got the wheels turning in my head and created great energy and excitement again.”“Oh, so that is what’s on your mind. If you don’t mind, please tell me a bit more of the path that led you here.” [to this retreat]“Well, my youngest daughter graduated high school this year and is heading out of state for college in the Fall. Lately, it has really been hitting home and hitting hard that I am soon-to-be an empty nester. Honestly, I am not where I thought I would be at this stage in life and the thought of an empty nest is pretty frightening. After all, for the last 23 years being a Mom has been my primary focus.”“I hear you BJ, the empty nest arrives sooner than most of us anticipated. You may have heard the expression, ‘The days are long, but the years are short.’* I think the empty nest is one of those milestone moments when that reality hits hard. It was such a run and gun to get the kids to school, to sports, to camp, to sleepovers, and then to the next year of school. Then, bam, you’re visiting colleges, ordering graduation invitations, and wondering how time passed so quickly.”“You’re not kidding, Kevin. Especially as a single mom. It seemed there was never any time to stop. In so many ways, life has been a blur since Kindergarten. It’s like we were on autopilot on the autobahn. That line you shared about the empty nest not having to be the empty next hit me right here.” [BJ dramatically and slowly brought her arm from her side with her index finger extended and slowly landed smack dab in the middle of her forehead and added the “kaboom” sound effect.][clickToTweet tweet="Your #EmptyNest need not be your empty next. Fill it with #meaning, #purpose, + #service" quote="Your empty nest need not be your empty next. You can fill it with meaning, purpose, and service"].“In case you were thinking it’s just you, please know you are not alone. It’s like we boarded a high-speed express train the moment when we left the hospital with a newborn in tow. We certainly got here fast, but not quite sure what to do now that we’re here.”“Thanks for the reminder. Fortunately, I know I’m not alone. I’ve got some friends who’ve been on similar journeys and recently we’ve been talking about those same questions you raised this morning. While, we’re not yet certain of the answers, it’s comforting to be processing these questions and sharing this season of life with people I’ve known since college.”“Absolutely! While it’s never easy to navigate life’s transitions, it is certainly easier when you are surrounded by people who know you, love you and want only the best for you. Do you mind me asking, what is your answer is to that question I posed in the morning session?”“Which one? I wrote down a question with each of the five points you covered.”“I didn't know I had questions attached to each of them. (We both chuckle.) You know I believe that a good question is better than a great answer. I meant the one about a passion that you might have put on simmer while you were raising your family?”“Oh, that one. I think I turned that burner off as a single mom. What was that quotation you shared about our childhood memories?”
“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.”
"It’s from Mary Jo Putney and provides quite a window, doesn’t it? Was the question about what you loved in childhood easier for you to answer than the passion question?”“Maybe. For me, I see a strong connection between my childhood delights, dreams, and destiny.”“Hey BJ, love that alliteration. I may have to borrow that delights, dreams, and destiny line. Who knows, I may work it into the next session. Have you pondered that connection before?”“Not really. It was something I jotted down after one of our table discussions. But that is the assignment you gave us for the afternoon isn’t it? Can I give you my answer at dinner? I think I’ll take a short hike up the mountain and find a place to ponder that and have an answer for you at dinner.”“Sounds like a plan. I can’t wait to hear what you come up with; these mountains are a great place for getting clarity.”“Believe me, I know. I am so glad I came.”“Yeah, me too, BJ. I’ll see you at dinner. Enjoy your hike.”
Filling the Empty Next
BJ mentioned five points we discussed in the morning session. Here they are in case you were wondering.
- Reframe the situation. You’re not done; you are destined. Now is the time to step into your destiny.
- Reconnect with YOUR passions
- Rediscover your dreams
- Redirect your attention and energy
- Re-fire your future
I’ll cover those in a future WHY Conversation post.Which one(s) do you need to focus on now, so your empty nest is not your empty next? Leave a comment below.We are planning a webinar to explore the Empty Nest ≠ Empty Next. Sign up to be notified of details.[convertkit form=4887230]
Shoutouts
"The days are long, but the years are short," comes from Sandra Stanley via her husband, Andy.The "empty next" concept was a typo from a journal entry on May 16, 2016, that caught my attention.This conversation was inspired by a real-life conversation. Thanks, BJ, you know you are.The photo credit belongs to shippee and was procured from DepositPhotos.com