What's Stopping You?

When was the last time you allowed yourself to dream? I mean dream BIG? Possibly bigger than you ever dreamed before?Were you attending a motivational meeting where you were mesmerized by one of the masters of motivation? It could have been a Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Les Brown, or Oprah meeting.  You sat captivated by their charm and charisma. You heard something that sparked a fire within you. You saw something as possible and for a few moments, you saw the dream as attainable. Maybe, there was something about the environment.Truth be told, it could be that everything in the environment was carefully constructed and orchestrated to inspire and encourage you to dream big. The meeting included elements of religious fervor -- inspirational speakers, testimonies of transformed lives, all in a setting surrounding you with the trappings of success and high levels of energy and adrenaline.If you're a person of faith, maybe your moment occurred at a men’s meeting, a women’s weekend, or perhaps something like a Passion Conference. You remember that moment, where you saw something in your future that you might have never seen before. Or maybe it allowed you to reconnect with a dream you had years ago.At some point, you had an epiphany and saw your future. It called, inspired, and excited you. Heck, it might have overwhelmed or even frightened you.Whenever it was and whenever you were, it was a time when you dreamed BIG.You saw a glimpse of some possibility in your future that captivated your imagination and invited you to set out on an amazing journey. You were ecstatic!You were in an idyllic setting where you, having been surrounded by dreamers and doers -- immersed into the power of positivity and possibility. It was there that you:

• Developed a plan
• Wrote a letter to your future self
• Created a list of goals
• Developed daily affirmations
• Even found a study buddy or accountability partner

You were pumped and primed. Ready and raring to go. You took a step, two steps, or even a few steps in the direction of your dream.But then something happened. It wasn't as easy as you had thought it would be sitting at the seminar, conference, or retreat. Things did not happen as you had hoped. As a matter of fact, things in your life moved in a radically different direction than you had envisioned.Things went south. Very far south and very fast. Some people refer to this,  “the $#*% hit the fan.”Now, you find yourself wondering what went wrong? What do they (all the successful people) have that you don't have?Let's get real, if the questions that eat at you are the ones that used to eat at me, they are much more pointed and personal?

• What’s wrong with me?
• Where did I screw up?
• Is this just not meant to be?
• Why won't this work for me?
• What do they have that I don’t?

You find yourself back in the rut of routine and wondering if life, your life, will ever be any different. On top of that, you may be battling despair, possibly making last ditch efforts to not sink into depression.A wise writer once diagnosed your condition as being heartsick. It occurs when something you hope for  is deferred or denied.When your life goals, ambitions, and dreams are thwarted, it can affect your heart.That last question, “What do they have that you don’t?”Maybe there really is something they have that you don’t. You might think it’s just one little thing, but in reality, that little thing is actually quite significant.Henry Ford nailed it when he said, "Whether you think you can or you can't -- you're right.”It’s not a question of whether or not you are motivated to change. The reality is, change can be difficult and there are times when motivation alone is simply not enough.It’s a matter of mindset.Mindset matters. Most.Mindsets are beliefs. The beliefs you have about yourself, how you see your gifts, talents, and abilities. Mindset includes what you think you are capable of and what you believe lies in the realm of possibility for you.The single biggest difference between many of those who actually do and myriads of others who only dream of doing is their mindset.[clickToTweet tweet="Doers adopt a mindset that adds motion to their motivation." quote="Doers adopt a mindset that adds motion to their motivation."]I love how John Wooden put it, “Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out.” That’s a mindset.Stephen Covey phrased it this way, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” That’s also a mindset.Your mindset determines how you interpret situations. Hear these words from Chuck Swindoll, “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”Last, but certainly not least, the motivational master himself taught, “We become what we think about,” Earl Nightingale.Mindset matters. Do not believe that others have it easier than you. Nor should you accept that the way things currently are is the only way they can be.Instead, believe you can change, achieve, and accomplish — even if the odds are against you.[clickToTweet tweet="If you want to change your life, first master your mindset." quote="If you want to change your life, first master your mindset."]Choosing Your MindsetCarol Dweck, one of the leading experts on mindset believes it is the key to success and achievement. She is a Stanford professor and researcher author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.Dweck has discovered that people have one of two basic mindsets. Those with a fixed mindset believe what they have is what they have and all they will ever have. They entered life with a certain amount of smarts and talent. At birth, they were either a winner or a loser in life’s lottery. Many with a fixed mindset have a “chip on their shoulder” and are always trying to prove something.Then, there are those with the growth mindset. In spite of where they were born or what smarts and talents they entered life with, they see endless possibilities for growth and development. They are lifelong learners and spend their days trying to improve, rather than prove, themselves.Dweck’s book is certainly worth a read or a listen. If you’re not sure about her book, invest 10 minutes and watch her TED Talk.Maybe the achievers you admire really do have something you don’t have, or, as Carol puts it, at least not yet. They have learned to manage, maybe even master, their mindset.If you have a fixed mindset, you probably begrudge others for their success and  feel obliged to accept the situation as “just the way it is”.But, if you adopt a growth mindset, you will find ways to overcome the obstacles and learn in every situation.Don’t settle. By all means, please don’t sink. Take some positive action right now. Next up, I’ll share one major mindset I shifted and how it made a dramatic difference.What now?

What’s the BIG dream you have? At this moment, what’s holding you back?

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