I Have a Confidence Problem
I hear this every week. "I'm struggling to find my purpose in life. I want to believe I have a unique contribution to offer the world, but I have a confidence problem."
Here's the truth. No one else has exactly what you have to share or can share it exactly as you do.
Pause. Reflect on that for a moment.
Your life journey, whatever it is, creates credibility and clout for you to connect with your “tribe” like no one else connects with them. Some people call it fulfilling your destiny, finding your life’s purpose. I call it Living Your WHY. If you are reading this, you are awakened, or awakening to Living Your WHY
Currently, we are exploring the 4Cs of Living Your WHY. So far we discussed Clarity and Courage as essential elements to Living Your WHY.
You need clarity about both direction and destination in your life. Otherwise, you just sit like a parked car with your engine idling as you wonder what to do next. It’s hard to stop a moving train, but it’s also hard to steer a parked car. Movement leads to momentum! No movement = no momentum.
Clarity about your WHY is absolutely essential, but not necessarily sufficient. You may know where you want to go and have a good sense of what it takes to get there. But unless, and until, that clarity results in action, nothing of significance occurs.
Courage provides the impetus for action. Never underestimate the impact of action. Remember Newton’s First Law, “an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion, stays in motion…” Seth Godin put it another way,
The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.
It takes courage to step up and speak out about your WHY. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but it’s the belief that your WHY is bigger and more important to you than your fear. Courage helps you conquer fear.
Clarity defines your course, courage helps you act, but what is it that keeps you going? I believe it’s confidence. Confidence that your WHY is relevant and makes a meaningful contribution to the world.
What happens when you step up and speak out?
Well, let’s assume things go well and there’s a positive response to your message. It doesn’t matter whether you were sharing it with one person, a hundred, or a thousand, when the sharing goes well, it bolsters your confidence.
It also helps silence those voices in your head that told you people will think you’re crazy. Well, they didn’t think you were crazy. Instead, they thought you were bold, ambitious, and daring. Call it a good kind of crazy, the kind that believes you can change the world! And instead of ridiculing you, they asked, “What can I do to help” or “How can I get involved”?
That builds your confidence; the feeling or belief that your WHY matters, that you can actually live your WHY, and make the world a better place by advancing the vision that is in your heart and mind.
[clickToTweet tweet="Clarity set the course, courage gets you started, and confidence keeps you going." quote="Clarity set the course, courage gets you started, and confidence keeps you going."]
Four Benefits of Confidence
Confidence Attracts
It’s true. People are drawn to confident people. You see this in all kinds of settings. Whether it’s at a cocktail party or in the Shark Tank, confidence creates a magnetic force that pulls people into your orbit.
You are the spokesperson for your WHY. When you are confident about your WHY, you attract people, which creates a readiness and an eagerness to connect with you and get on board with your WHY. Confidence is the sweet spot. Too little confidence comes across as timidity and uncertainty. An overabundance of confidence is is usually perceived as arrogance.
[clickToTweet tweet="Confidence attracts! Both timidity and arrogance repel. Broadcast confidence for your cause." quote="Confidence attracts! Both timidity and arrogance repel. Broadcast confidence for your cause."]
Confidence Connects
Not only are people attracted to you when you emanate confidence, they more readily connect with your cause - your WHY. Your confidence transfers and inspires confidence in others. As a result, they want in. They want to know how they, too, can get involved and what they can do to advance the cause. Confidence provides them the comfort to invest their support and resources to help your WHY grow in reach and impact.
Confidence Begets Confidence
Have you noticed this? The first time you have an opportunity to do something new, you probably have butterflies in your stomach. Doubt and uncertainties have made a playground out of your mind. You are not quite sure about the best way to approach sharing your WHY.
You muster the courage to connect with someone or some group and share your WHY. As you do, you surprise yourself by the level of courage you found and how you are sharing with confidence — it comes from your purpose, passion, and preparation for this moment — and it sparks confidence in your audience. Their receptivity, excitement, and enthusiasm bolster your confidence.
Now, the next time you step out to share, you discover that you are operating with increased confidence. And that confidence attracts more people, connects them with your WHY, and generates (begets) yet even more confidence.
Confidence Propels
Suddenly, you discover all of this is working together to and creating momentum for Living Your WHY. Your WHY is becoming an unstoppable force just like that train we mentioned. You are now making significant strides forward and fondly remember the days you struggled to take a baby step. Best of all, your confidence is inspiring others to live their WHY.
[clickToTweet tweet=" Confidence is energy in action that produces more energy for action." quote=" Confidence is energy in action that produces more energy for action."]
I hear some of you thinking, well that’s great, but where do I start? Remember, the 4Cs to Living Your WHY.
Clarity
- Connect with your passion and purpose
- Clarify your WHY
Courage
- Muster courage to share it with others
- Craft a message so you can share your WHY with others
Confidence
- Talk to people (those in your inner circle - first degree connections)
- Collect their feedback
- Refine your message
- Talk to more people (other first degree connections or expand to second degree)
- Collect more feedback
- Refine your message
- Cast a broader net (Ask the people who resonate with your WHY, who they know that might also resonate with you and your WHY and ask them to connect you - think third, fourth, and fifth degree connections)
- Talk to them
- Reflect on what connects and inspires
- Watch your confidence in your WHY grow
Wash, rinse, repeat. Daily!
All of this is easier when it’s done in community with others. That’s the fourth of the 4Cs and the topic of my next post. Enter your name and email below to receive the post as soon as it is live.
Where are you when it comes to confidence about your WHY? Are you operating in the sweet spot or teetering towards timidity or arrogance?
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Photo Credit: Biletskiy Evgeniy via Adobe Stock