Choosing Gratitude: The Daily Decision That Changes Everything
Guest Post by Christy Kern
Have you ever caught yourself in a spiral of complaints during your morning commute? The traffic is unbearable, your coffee spilled on your shirt, and your inbox is overflowing before you even reach your desk. We've all been there—locked in a pattern of noticing everything that's going wrong. In those moments, gratitude seems like the furthest thing from your mind.
But what if gratitude wasn't something that just happened to you when things are going well, but rather something you deliberately chose, regardless of circumstances?
Gratitude Move 3: Choosing Gratitude
Welcome to the third installment of Gratitude Moves™, our series exploring Strategic Ways to Activate Gratitude's Power. We began by exploring how to deploy gratitude as a strategic resource, followed by leaning into gratitude as a way to transform moments of withdrawal. Today, we dive into the transformative practice of Choosing Gratitude.
The concept of choosing gratitude truly crystallized for me during a particularly challenging day. I had just experienced a nightmare travel day where nothing went smoothly. When I finally arrived, the team I was working with seemed completely unprepared for our time together. Then, before we even got started, I was blindsided by some news about the client's previous experience that left me reeling and angry.
There are no better days to learn that gratitude is a choice. Not just a warm, fuzzy feeling that happens naturally. Nothing about this situation screamed, "I should be grateful"... and yet, I had a choice. I could sulk about the travel snafus, I could be annoyed with the client in the room, and I could be (justifiably) angry with the contracting agency for what they had done. But that is NOT how I wanted to show up in that moment or how I wanted to be as a person.
Gratitude is not an emotion that comes to us, but a choice we make regardless of our emotions. When we choose gratitude, we choose to see life through a lens that transforms not just our perception, but our reality.
Unpacking the Move
Choosing gratitude means making a conscious decision to focus on appreciation rather than defaulting to complaint or criticism. Unlike simply feeling grateful when good things happen, choosing gratitude is an active process—a deliberate redirection of your attention toward what's working, what's valuable, and what's possible.
This move differs from deploying gratitude in that it's less about sending gratitude on a specific mission and more about adopting gratitude as your default operating system. It's about training your mind to automatically search for things to appreciate rather than things to criticize.
The key elements of choosing gratitude include:
Recognition that gratitude is always a choice, even when circumstances are difficult
A deliberate commitment to find value in every situation
The understanding that you can acknowledge problems while still choosing gratitude
A willingness to develop new mental habits that prioritize appreciation
Where and When to Apply
Choosing gratitude is particularly powerful in these workplace scenarios:
During team conflicts when positions are becoming entrenched
When facing unexpected setbacks or failures
In high-pressure environments where negativity easily spreads
During performance reviews or feedback sessions
When working with difficult colleagues or clients
In times of organizational change or uncertainty
You know it's time to choose gratitude when you notice your team defaulting to blame, when conversations focus exclusively on problems rather than solutions, or when you feel yourself becoming cynical or disengaged.
How to Practice This Move
Shift Your Mindset: Start by recognizing that gratitude is a choice, not just a reaction to favorable circumstances. This mental reframing is powerful.
Start Small: Begin with acknowledging one positive aspect of a challenging situation, then gradually expand your practice.
Create Decision Points: Identify specific moments in your day (receiving criticism, encountering obstacles) as opportunities to consciously choose gratitude.
Use Gratitude Reframing: When facing challenges, ask "What might I be grateful for in this situation if I looked deeper?"
Build a Gratitude Network: Surround yourself with colleagues who practice choosing gratitude and can remind you of this choice when you're struggling.
Choosing gratitude does not come naturally to most of us. It has taken me a lot of practice, and I still struggle sometimes. But like any skill, it gets stronger with consistent effort.
The most common pitfall is confusing choosing gratitude with toxic positivity.
Remember: choosing gratitude isn't about denying problems—it's about approaching them from a more resourceful state of mind.
Real-World Application
A marketing team was struggling with a client who kept changing project requirements. Team meetings had devolved into complaint sessions, and several team members were considering leaving the project.
The project manager decided to implement a simple practice: starting each client discussion by acknowledging something they appreciated about the client's engagement. Initially met with eye rolls, the practice gradually shifted the team's perspective. They began noting the client's passion, creativity, and willingness to be involved. These observations led to a more collaborative approach to managing changes.
Within weeks, the relationship transformed. Rather than dreading client calls, the team began seeing them as opportunities to refine their work. The client, feeling more appreciated, became more receptive to the team's process suggestions. What could have been a failed project became one of their most successful collaborations.
Invitation to Action
This week, I challenge you to consciously choose gratitude at least three times each day. Create a simple trigger—perhaps each time you check your phone, take a sip of water, or receive an email—to pause and choose gratitude in that moment.
Keep track of how this practice affects your mood, your interactions with colleagues, and your approach to challenges. What shifts do you notice in your perspective? How does it impact your decision-making?
I'd love to hear about your experience with choosing gratitude. Share your insights using #GratitudeMoves or send me a direct message. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear to begin their own gratitude practice.
CHOOSING GRATITUDE FOR YOU!
MEET CHRISTY
Christy Kern is a skilled advisor and facilitator who helps teams have meaningful conversations to tap into their collective wisdom, especially in high-stakes situations.
Believing that we’re better together, she guides organizations to have better conversations, make clearer decisions, do their best work, and achieve stronger results. Learn more about Christy and her work with the On Purpose Project.
